All the advice and warnings that say you shouldn't move in with your best friend?
Yeah, you should listen to them.
You are not the exception, your friendship is not stronger than all the others, you are not going to stay best friends, and things ARE going to change.
I wish someone had drilled this into my head about four months ago.
My first apartment, with my best friend, how could life get any better? We were both so excited about it. We never fight, we like the same things, and we usually agree on most things. We were sure that living together would be great; we weren't like all those petty girls we'd heard about moving in together and then growing to hate each other.
The first month or so was great, after we got over the fear of pooping around each other (I don't think she was ever fully comfortable when I was around). We had late night chats, breakfast dates, and teamwork-cleaned the kitchen after having all our friends over. Life was fun.
Little by little though, things changed. Big time. We hung out less frequently, and when we did it seemed like more of an obligation than true friendship time. The little quirks about each other we had first ignored now seemed like huge annoyances. Grudges built up like crazy. Not to mention the fact that housework was no longer a "teamwork" thing..it was more like I was playing housewife. Which is even less fun when winter comes and that job includes clearing a driveway for both of our cars.
To be fair, I'm sure I have terrible habits, and I know at times I'm not the best possible roommate. But I do what I can, and I really don't think I'm that hard to live with.
Eventually I came to a breaking point, and knew I needed to move out. Almost as soon as I brought it up to my roommate, she was gone. Vanished. All her shit, gone. And all I could wonder was, am I that terrible to live with?
Actually, I'm still wondering it. This is a right-now event in my life, and I feel awful about it. I don't know what to expect, friendship-wise. I have enough things to worry about, between normal life and now trying to find a new apartment, but on top of that I'm pretty sure I lost my best friend.
I don't have a wide array of friends as it is, so losing any of them would be pretty hard. But this was my very best friend, the one I could always count on when I needed a best friend cuppa tea, or just a chat, or even a good silly laugh. I don't know if any of that will be happening anymore. It feels like it won't. It feels like a breakup.
In the future, I'll be living alone or with people I barely know. (Until I'm eventually in love and stuff, but that's a whole nother issue.) There's too much at risk when you live with your best friend. I wish I had believed all the people who warned me.
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