I've never had the type of true, intimate, best-friends-til-the-end best friendship that most girls I know take for granted.
I've also never been a big fan of pointless drama, mean-spirited gossiping, or saying one thing and meaning a completely different, unkind thing.
And I'm pretty sure those two facts are closely related.
I've always gotten along better with guys; consequently my friend group is primarily made up of bros.
As cliche as it sounds, there's just so much less drama involved.
No unspoken grudges, no hidden jealousy, no snarky fake compliments to go home and try to decode.
Guys call you out on your shit, and tell you if there's a problem, or else just stay chill and choose not to make something an issue if it's not necessary.
Girls, on the other hand, go out of their way to look for a problem, and then store up that conflict until the right time to "get revenge".
I don't understand why so many girls choose to act like this, but in my experience, the large majority do.
Every friendship I've had with a girl has been laced with a bit of fear; I'm always wondering if I've unknowingly done something atrocious that I'll later have to pay for, indirectly. Text messages are never read at face value; there's always a subtext, something a bit less easy-breezy than just "omg don't worry about it!!!".
I've always been part jealous, part in awe of these "bosom buddies" friendships I see between the girls all around me. Finding a friend that's unconditionally there for you, and knows all your secrets and lil quirks, seems about as unlikely and challenging as finding your soulmate in a world of six billion people.
How do they do it? I've had close friends before, almost to the point where I get excited and think "this is it! i've found my true best friend!", but eventually the claws always come out. I'm sure it's not just me, girls say these vicious things, and do these sneaky tricks to other people too. So why am I seemingly the only one with a problem with this picture? Does everyone else accept it as part of the friendship? Oh sure, she's a terrible bitch behind my back, but I couldn't live without her!
Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I should tolerate a bit more abuse, in exchange for the coveted "best friend" status I'd like to have. Maybe a best friend isn't supposed to be nice to you all, or even most, of the time. Maybe I should start pulling some backhanded moves on the girls I know, in hopes of making that bestie connection.
Or maybe I should keep doing what I'm doing.
Treat everyone kindly, but don't put up with any bullshit.
And maybe someday, I'll find my one-in-six-billion soulmate, in best friend form.
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